The Akatsuki's Bargain
by MisselthwaiteManor
Summary: Peace is what everyone wants, but the Akatsuki. They decide to strike up a deal, for peace and never bothering anyone in the Fire Nation again, they get Calanthia, a wild shinobi from the Village Hidden in the Leaf. *Excruciatingly slow updates*


**Sasuke's POV:**

"We have gathered here today to ensure peace and the Akatsuki won't be our enemies any longer," Tsunade says to those of us here. There's my squad and Gai's team, there's an empty chair for the one late ninja on our side of the table and the opposite side is completely empty.

"Where's Calanthia?" Tsunade asks, before letting out a sigh, "Of course she's late. This _is_ Calanthia."

We all murmur our agreement, of course the fourth member of Squad Seven would be late, she's worse than Kakashi.

"Looks like we'll just have to start the meeting without her," Tsunade states before yelling, "You guys can come in now!"

The doors are swung open and there stand the worst people in existence, and the man I want to kill most.

I get up lightning fast and aim a kunai at his heart, but it doesn't make it there. The female hokage catches it and looks at me with anger in her eyes.

"Sasuke! Sit down now!" Tsunade orders. "They're here so we can make _peace_ , not for you to indulge your unhealthy obsession with your brother."

I let out a string of curses before slumping back in my seat. Stupid sannin.

All the Akatsuki take a seat on the empty side of the table. The puppeteer sits across from me.

"Now," the alcoholic blonde starts, "let us begin."

* * *

It's been an hour and we've gotten absolutely nothing done. The Akatsuki want to kill Naruto and capture the nine tails, but we want Naruto alive and we don't want to give him up.

I'm just about to leave when the wooden door leading into this room flings open and there stands Calanthia, in all her paint and slobber covered glory. Her ash blonde hair is thrown back into a messy bun and her pale grey eyes have a crazed look in them.

"Why did you not tell me we had a meeting today?!"

"I sent Naruto to tell y-" Kakashi stops abruptly and sweat drops, realizing his mistake.

"Well, I had to deal with three year old children for the past two hours because of it. You want to know what happened during that traumatic one hundred and twenty minutes?!" she leaves a slight pause to make the sentence more dramatic. "They decided to get the wonderful idea to make 'art'! At first, I was all like sure, I'm glad these kids are investing in art at such a young age. Then they decided to _freaking finger paint_ a _turkey_ and then put stickers not even _relating_ to the context of the picture! The lack of art was _disgusting_!"

Sasori and Deidara both let out repulsed noises. "That's terrible, un."

Tsunade looks at Calanthia again before inquiring, "What about the saliva all over you."

"One of the demons said that he was a plant, and then another asked if he was like the plant from the Akatsuki. One thing led to another, and all the kids ended up wanting to be Zetsu," she pauses from her rant before saying thoughtfully, "except that one kid who wanted to Hidan, but that's beside the point. So, I told them that Zetsu eats people in the hopes that that would stop them, but that seemed to spur them on even more. They somehow organized a plan to attack their victim and long story short they tried to 'eat' me."

The room went silent. We were all feeling pity for the blonde, she didn't deserve such a painful punishment.

"So, let me get this straight," the Jashinist began, "the freaking bipolar plant that eats people, has more fans than I, a follower of the almighty Jashin-sama?"

Thia shrugs, "I don't know, we're talking about roughly twenty kids here."

"Only one out of the twenty kids like me?!" Hidan asks, incredulous.

"Those kids have a lot of issues, I wouldn't recommend your judgement based on their opinions. I mean, come on, they wanted to be _plant_." her grey eyes flicker towards Zetsu. "No offense to you."

"None taken."

Tsunade gets everyone's attention. "Let's continue our peace meeting."


End file.
